I thank God that I was able to open my eyes this morning. I have so much to be thankful for and even if I'm still on the search for a new job/career, I am going to stay focused on keeping my peace. I know that God has something planned for me, something that maybe I have never thought of before.
If God is for me, who can be against me?
Saturday, October 10, 2015
Sunday, October 4, 2015
Hope
I didn't get any sleep again last night, but, when did sleep, it was deep. I woke up this afternoon with fresh eyes, renewed hope, and a mind that is on the mend. Thank you, God! I realized that as dire as my situation is at this moment, God is with me.
I said a prayer of surrender this morning and a feeling of peace came over me. I reached out for help and I felt God's presence. Amen......
I said a prayer of surrender this morning and a feeling of peace came over me. I reached out for help and I felt God's presence. Amen......
Thursday, October 1, 2015
Fake it, to make it?
Today was a rough day, mind wise. Does it get any easier? I pray to find the help I need to make it through. I'm praying, reading, talking. But how do you get out of your own head? Well, I'm going to faek it, until I make it. Hopefully someday soon my outside fake smiles will become real again.....
Tuesday, September 29, 2015
Just keep swimming....
I am feeling much better today. I have a few things going on with regards to making a living. We shall see what pans out. Feeling stronger.
Monday, September 28, 2015
I will rise again....
I am reading a book by Joel Osteen, called "Break Out". I've had it for 2 years now, given to me by my uncle. It's taken me this long to finally read, understand, and apply the principles of the book. I need it now more than anything. What a gift that my family members are always there for me. I love them for it.
I know I shouldn't do it, but looking back 35 years now, since I started working; I have been touched by depression that has been crippling at times. I've gotten help in the past: therapy, group therapy, medications, but nothing has worked. I continue to have this issue. What I have learned in the past couple of weeks is that I am loved. My family members are my heroes. I need them now more than ever; but I really need to get back to my God.
God is love, hope, restoration, and happiness. He is it. I was created out of love and I need to remember now much I am loved by God and my family. I also have to start respecting myself and all that I have accomplished.
I need to stop:
* Dwelling on my past: failures, job losses, hurting other people, being hurt by others.
* Spending beyond my means, keep it real.
* Thinking of hurting myself and becoming a nothing.
* Stop listening the devil's lies about me.
* Feeling sorry for myself.
I need to start:
* Seeking God in all that I do.
* Seeking guidance.
* Seeing my own self-worth.
* Remembering that I am loved.
* That this is not the end, God will bring me through. I can rise and take my place in this world.
* Get over it.
* I will find a meaningful place in this world.
I am the head and not the tail. I will lend and not borrow. I will not be defeated, God is with me. Amen.
I know I shouldn't do it, but looking back 35 years now, since I started working; I have been touched by depression that has been crippling at times. I've gotten help in the past: therapy, group therapy, medications, but nothing has worked. I continue to have this issue. What I have learned in the past couple of weeks is that I am loved. My family members are my heroes. I need them now more than ever; but I really need to get back to my God.
God is love, hope, restoration, and happiness. He is it. I was created out of love and I need to remember now much I am loved by God and my family. I also have to start respecting myself and all that I have accomplished.
I need to stop:
* Dwelling on my past: failures, job losses, hurting other people, being hurt by others.
* Spending beyond my means, keep it real.
* Thinking of hurting myself and becoming a nothing.
* Stop listening the devil's lies about me.
* Feeling sorry for myself.
I need to start:
* Seeking God in all that I do.
* Seeking guidance.
* Seeing my own self-worth.
* Remembering that I am loved.
* That this is not the end, God will bring me through. I can rise and take my place in this world.
* Get over it.
* I will find a meaningful place in this world.
I am the head and not the tail. I will lend and not borrow. I will not be defeated, God is with me. Amen.
Monday, September 21, 2015
Still Believing for Recovery
Well, it's been a really long time since I've updated my blog. I'm still believing in my life recovery. Depression is a problem that I have been dealing with off and on for my whole life. I'm a weary soldier and I'm ready to move on.
I'm still trying to get past my past. I'm not afraid of getting older, just afraid that I will deal with the same issues, even after all of these years. I know that with God's help, I will overcome and have the life that I've always dreamed of, which is health, wealth and happiness.
I believe that my new/last career is out there for me, I want to be the healthiest I've ever been in my life, payoff my debts, take care of my parents, buy a house, be the best sister/friend that I can be to my friends and family, and find the love of my life. Wow, listing it like this seems more concrete. I don't think I've seen the list written down, seems appropriate today.
Life is worth living and I have to grab every moment that I can while the good Lord gives me the time to do it.
I'm still trying to get past my past. I'm not afraid of getting older, just afraid that I will deal with the same issues, even after all of these years. I know that with God's help, I will overcome and have the life that I've always dreamed of, which is health, wealth and happiness.
I believe that my new/last career is out there for me, I want to be the healthiest I've ever been in my life, payoff my debts, take care of my parents, buy a house, be the best sister/friend that I can be to my friends and family, and find the love of my life. Wow, listing it like this seems more concrete. I don't think I've seen the list written down, seems appropriate today.
Life is worth living and I have to grab every moment that I can while the good Lord gives me the time to do it.
Amen
Sunday, May 25, 2014
Overcoming my demons
Well, it's been a really long time since I've updated my blog. A lot has happened since last year. Good and bad. I'm on the 5th day of a 10 day reboot program. I'm feeling stronger and lighter. I pray that someday I won't always worry about what I look like and concentrate on the inside and my mind.....
I'm still trying to get past my past. How I feel about myself and move on already. Sometimes I can hear the clock ticking. I'm not afraid of getting older, just afraid that I will deal with the same issues, even after all of these years. I know that with God's help, I will overcome and have the life that I've always dreamed of, which is health, wealth and happiness.
I want to be the healthiest I've ever been in my life, payoff my debts, take car of my parents, buy a house, be the best sister/friend that I can be to my friends and family, and find the love of my life. Wow, listing it like this seems more concrete. I don't think I've seen the list written down, seems appropriate today.
Here's to LIFE!
I'm still trying to get past my past. How I feel about myself and move on already. Sometimes I can hear the clock ticking. I'm not afraid of getting older, just afraid that I will deal with the same issues, even after all of these years. I know that with God's help, I will overcome and have the life that I've always dreamed of, which is health, wealth and happiness.
I want to be the healthiest I've ever been in my life, payoff my debts, take car of my parents, buy a house, be the best sister/friend that I can be to my friends and family, and find the love of my life. Wow, listing it like this seems more concrete. I don't think I've seen the list written down, seems appropriate today.
Here's to LIFE!
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