Just keep swimming....

I am feeling much better today.  I have a few things going on with regards to making a living.  We shall see what pans out.  Feeling stronger.

I will rise again....

I am reading a book by Joel Osteen, called "Break Out".  I've had it for 2 years now, given to me by my uncle.  It's taken me this long to finally read, understand, and apply the principles of the book.  I need it now more than anything.  What a gift that my family members are always there for me.  I love them for it.

I know I shouldn't do it, but looking back 35 years now, since I started working; I have been touched by depression that has been crippling at times.  I've gotten help in the past: therapy, group therapy, medications, but nothing has worked.  I continue to have this issue.  What I have learned in the past couple of weeks is that I am loved.  My family members are my heroes.  I need them now more than ever; but I really need to get back to my God.

God is love, hope, restoration, and happiness.  He is it.  I was created out of love and I need to remember now much I am loved by God and my family.  I also have to start respecting myself and all that I have accomplished.

I need to stop:

*  Dwelling on my past: failures, job losses, hurting other people, being hurt by others.
*  Spending beyond my means, keep it real.
*  Thinking of hurting myself and becoming a nothing.
*  Stop listening the devil's lies about me.
*  Feeling sorry for myself.

I need to start:

*  Seeking God in all that I do.
*  Seeking guidance.
*  Seeing my own self-worth.
*  Remembering that I am loved.
*  That this is not the end, God will bring me through.  I can rise and take my place in this world.
*  Get over it.
*  I will find a meaningful place in this world.

I am the head and not the tail.  I will lend and not borrow.  I will not be defeated, God is with me.  Amen.

Still Believing for Recovery

Still Believing for Recovery

Well, it's been a really long time since I've updated my blog.  I'm still believing in my life recovery.  Depression is a problem that I have been dealing with off and on for my whole life.  I'm a weary soldier and I'm ready to move on.

I'm still trying to get past my past.  I'm not afraid of getting older, just afraid that I will deal with the same issues, even after all of these years.  I know that with God's help, I will overcome and have the life that I've always dreamed of, which is health, wealth and happiness.  

I believe that my new/last career is out there for me, I want to be the healthiest I've ever been in my life, payoff my debts, take care of my parents, buy a house, be the best sister/friend that I can be to my friends and family, and find the love of my life.  Wow, listing it like this seems more concrete.  I don't think I've seen the list written down, seems appropriate today.

Life is worth living and I have to grab every moment that I can while the good Lord gives me the time to do it.  

Amen